The Guild Fanucci

With the impending elevation of Captain Matthew at Northshield Coronation–the fine magician, performer, and Captain of the HMS Peregrine [a fine merchant ship and respectable business endeavor] it seemed time to unveil the Fanucci Pirate Song.

Fanucci Pirates Free
© 2005 George Reed

Weigh hey! Fanucci pirates be
Out upon the Sea!
With hot rum running in our veins,
We’ll serve ye’ steel for tea!

I first took ship at twelve years old, A lad both young and green.
For long years I’m a pirate bold, And many a sight I’ve seen.
The finest thing I’ve seen by far from Port Royale to Malabar,
Time of peace or time of war, Fanucci pirates free!

“Weigh hey! The Fanucci pirates be
Out upon the Sea!
With hot rum running in our veins,
We’ll serve ye’ steel for tea!”

Now some will rue the sailor’s due before the bosun’s glare.
And some will quake at scabbard’s scrape When powder fills the air!
The bravest tar that ever sailed would rather eat a roaring gale
Than feel his heart within him fail…fanucci pirates there.

“Weigh hey! The Fanucci pirates be
Out upon the Sea!
With hot rum running in our veins,
We’ll serve ye’ steel for tea!”

Come if you dare, you silly sheep we’ll shear ye’ head to heel!
We’ve made the jolly Dutchman weep and haughty Spaniards kneel.
Come brig and frigate don’t you know we strip ye’ clean and send ye low
You’ll have grog with Davey Jo beneath our rolling keel!

Its rum and plunder. Ho! My hearts, our ship is trim and true!
We’ll make a start for distant parts and foreign revenue.
We sail upon the morning tide and strap our blades on merchant hide
We’ll have glory, gold and pride…Fanucci pirates free!

“Weigh hey! The Fanucci pirates be
Out upon the Sea!
With hot rum running in our veins,
We’ll serve ye’ steel for tea!”

The tale of Captain Matthew Christopher of Bristol

By Dr. Henry Best
At the Pennsic War, the Coxcomb Academy Graduation Show was jarringly interrupted as an Inquisitor charged the show’s master of ceremonies, Captain Matthew Christopher, with witchcraft. Captain Christopher is a well known performer of magic tricks, some of which confound normal explanation. The Inquisitor, brandishing a copy of the Malleus Maleficarum, bombastically informed the Captain that his beloved ship, the H.M.S. Peregrine, had been impounded, along with all his worldly possessions, and demanded to hear an immediate plea to the charges of Witchcraft and Consorting with Diabolic Powers. The erstwhile Captain, glancing around for his stage manager, Dr. Henry Best, and finding himself high and dry without support of any kind, pleaded”not guilty”. Dr. Best, a wise and well educated man, is reported to have fled the scene several minutes earlier upon sighting the Malleus Maleficarum, also known as”The Witch Hammer”. Christopher appealed to his Laurel, Finn Jarl Herjolfsson, for protection. Apparently finding the prospect of facing the Inquisition unpalatable, Finn confiscated his apprentice’s belt, saying”I am unable to protect you, and probably have been for quite some time.”The courageous Jarl then appealed to the Crown of the Middle Kingdom for protection for his disowned apprentice, before bravely stepping away from the Inquisitor’s gaze.

King Felix, called”the Decisive”, and his lovely Queen Madeleina, called”the Bright”, were in attendance at the show. Felix and Madeleina strode boldly onto the stage and faced off the Inquisitor on Matthew’s behalf. Citing both his value as an entertainer, and his illuminating treatise on performance magic,”The Well-Versed Conjuror’s Bag of Tricks”, which by coincidence was dedicated directly to Felix and Madeleina, the Crown pardoned Matthew Christopher of all charges, restored his goods, and charged him to stand vigil to join the Order of the Laurel, and so be in direct fealty to the Crown, for his own protection. Felix stated that the elevation would take place at Northshield Coronation, and that he would create a Laurel and a Kingdom all in one day, which this reporter deems a good day’s work for anyone.

As the crowd of Laurels, Royalty, and Inquisition left Matthew alone and staggering upon the stage, Dr. Best made a reappearance, clipboard in hand, and reminding Matthew that”the show must go on”, bade him introduce the next act. The Coxcomb Academy then resumed its business of showcasing the acts of its hard working and talented students.

The rumored sightings of Capt. Matthew Christopher in the company of a cat with sleek black fur are, at present, unconfirmed.

Vigil and Elevation Information:

Matthew Christopher will stand a vigil at the Tournament of the Rose, September 18th. Although he welcomes advice from other peers, he is specifically holding a vigil that day to gain advice from the Ladies of the Rose, and will grant them precedence to speak.

The elevation will take place at the Northshield Coronation, October 16th. Matthew will stand vigil for one hour before elevation, isolated in silent meditation. There will be a reception following court, by grace of the new Kingdom of Northshield, for any peers wishing to advise the new Midrealm peer, himself only minutes older than that kingdom.