The Guild Fanucci

Faheud’s Cookbook, Page 02
Mama’s Special - Spaghetti/Lasagna Sauce
© 2004 George Reed

Ingredients to acquire:

• Tomatoes. Yeah, big surprise there, huh? I am going to give you options this time though…so listen up:
• You can use 5 cans Contadina crushed tomatoes and 2 cans tomato puree (unseasoned)—and I mean those really big “holly cr** it fell on my foot someone dial 911” babies.
• You can take 8 quarts of fresh tomatoes and prepare as follows
• Place in large colander—after you’ve cleaned them of course.
• Pour boiling water over them to scald and split the skins
• Peel the tomatoes and deposit in a large pot with a half cup of water. You really only want the water so something other than your tomatoes will steam off.
• Slow-cook the tomatoes until they are thoroughly done, perhaps adding a bit of salt to remove the alkali aftertaste.
• Pop the lovelies into a blender and puree.
• 24 ounces of tomato paste. No, you cannot use catsup. I’ll find you. If I cannot find you, the ghost of Mama Cordelli will, and she makes me look like an easy scolding.
• 1 large sweet onion. Make sure it’s a nice sweet onion or you have begun the creation of something with a bitter aftertaste that could not be removed with a bottle of scope.
• 2 cups washed, thinly-sliced mushrooms. Even people who hate mushrooms will like their presence in the sauce. Trust faheud.
• 1.5 sticks of butter. Salted butter. Not margarine. Not “I can’t believe its not butter.” The sauce will believe it’s not butter—take that to the bank.
• Cooking sherry. Actual cooking sherry please. The stuff in tiny bottles in the vinegar section of your slacker-grocery store is too salty and of really lame quality.
• Burgundy wine. See previous comments about the stuff sold by the vinegar…
• Powdered Oregano
• Leaf Oregano
• Sweet Basil
• Garlic {powder or pulp}
• Grated Romano/Parmesan cheese [at least 16 ounces]
• Parsley [no sage, rosemary or thyme need apply]
• Optional : Italian sausage, cut into links and cooked til just done in strawberry zinfandel
• Allow three hours minimum from first starting to when your guests arrive.
• You will want 1 lb spaghetti per 4 diners. More on that later. Double the amount if squires or teenagers are involved. Triple if its teenage squires.
• ½ stick butter per pound of pasta you end up cooking
• 4 ounces olive oil

Instructions:

First clear all the riff raff out of the kitchen. They claim they are there to help, but there are really about four places when your sauce is at extreme risk of being sampled, and once it starts….I’m just sayin..

Wash, peel, and finely mince the onion, and put it in a LARGE enamel saucepan in which you have slow-melted the butter on medium heat. Those babies have a steel/iron core and really provide even heat. They are pricey, but worth it. If you do not have one, use a very large pan. Do **not** use aluminum. Tomatoes do festive things to aluminum pans, most of them highly toxic. Be careful to not do this on high heat. You will go from yummy to toxic waste in about 7 seconds otherwise. Overcook onions and you deserve the punishment you’ll get.

Sauté the onion in butter until it becomes translucent. This smells heavenly and is the first burgle-point to be guarded against. Mama Cordelli had a huge wooden spoon that served well at rapping rogue knuckles that sent their fingers roaming into the pot. I am less subtle and use a smallish hammer.

As the onions are ready, slide in the thin-sliced mushrooms. They sauté very nicely as well, creating a heavenly aroma, and the basis for the hidden under-flavor in the sauce. When they are thoroughly sautéed—ergo you are ready to slap ‘em in an omelet or on a steak–ts time to move on. ~~note this is another burgle point. Brandish large construction tools and the mob disperses quickly.

Add the tomato paste, stirring slowly to eliminate lumps. It’s usually about two cans worth. As it starts to bubble up again its time to stir in on tomato-paste can of the sherry. Mix thoroughly ensuring no lumps. Then add a can of burgundy wine—again ensure no lumps. As it heats up the alcohol all vaporizes out—beware standing over the pot.

As the mixture is simmering, add the tomatoes, one quart at a time, stirring thoroughly. Add the spices next, bruising and crushing the leafy spices. Stir very thoroughly. You have to go with taste here and trust your judgement. I find its about 1-1/2 teaspoons each of powdered oregano, basil, garlic, parsley, for each 8 quarts of sauce. taste it. if it taste bad now, its not going to be good later. if it tastes good now, it will ROCK later.

As the sauce is all spiced up, its time for cheese. What good Italian recipe has no cheese? Stir in all but about two ounces of the grated parmesan/romano. You can make sauce without cheese, but it won’t be **this** sauce and I am not responsible.

Stir the cheese in well and continue heating on medium heat ‘til it begins to simmer. This is yet another burgle-point, but hopefully you have beaten enough people by now that folks are steering clear. If not, have some nasty chores lined up for them to go do if they come near the pot.

If you are going to add sausage, do it now. The links of mild/hot Italian sausage can be simmered ‘til cooked in white zinfandel. Do not overcook the sausage—no one like a cigar in their spaghetti sauce.

When the sauce is simmering a bit, remove from stove, sprinkle the remaining cheese across the top and then a sprinkling of parsley. This makes a nice presentation, as well as sealing moisture and flavor in.

Put the pot in the oven at 300 degrees. Any more and you get an overcooked, bitter, oily sauce, and are traded to Cleveland.

The sauce will begin to have little bubbles around the edges after an hour, and the kitchen/house smells like Italian heaven.

Find the pot grandma threatened to bathe you in when you were four, and fill it with water and a teaspoon of salt. Cover it on high heat until boiling

When the water is at a rolling boil, put in the olive oil and the pasta. I recommend number 9 spaghetti, 1 pound per four diners—with exceptions as noted above. You really have to stir it and keep it moving or you end up with one very large serving of fused Garg food. You don’t want to know.

When the spaghetti is nearly done, get that huge colander and some butter ready. Drain the spaghetti and put it quickly back in the pan with the butter. Mix thoroughly. The butter keeps it from sticking and adds much yummification.

By now the crazed thugs who tried to burgle bits of your sauce earlier should have the dining room cleaned and the table set.

The best part of this recipe is the leftover sauce totally rocks over lasagna as well.

And it freezes. If there is any left. There rarely is.